Monday, October 31, 2016

Creatures of the Night - The Aftermath

Goodness, haven't the last six weeks just flown by on large leathery wings? There has been so much to get ready for Creatures of the Night, the insomniac  feels she has been completely neglectful of her online world other than for purposes of promotion. Despite her absence, countless followers worldwide conveyed their delight in the event - liking and commenting on her posts, expressing their regret in being unable to attend, sending cards and gifts in the mail including the following envelope that arrived the day after the event, postmarked Wales and addressed to the insomniac  but with no return address:

Thank you ever so much, anonymous person ...

Your generous gift shall be framed and displayed
prominently in the Little Gothic Cottage. 

Many weeks were spent hunting and gathering props from various thrift and dollar stores, bringing the items home and transforming them into something more appealing unappealing. An entire week was devoted to perfecting the Black Martini recipe. A further two weeks were spent sewing outfits for herself and the long-suffering spouse. In retrospect, she may have waited slightly too long before beginning work on such a unique pattern as the Artistic Reform Tea Gown, which is quite different from most modern patterns although not terribly difficult - provided  one follows the instructions. It took two full days to sew on the thirty-five hook and eyes that hold the dress together, although one could probably have saved herself a bit of time by eliminating the last two five closures around the midsection, as they wouldn't do up anyway - that fact remained undiscovered until Friday evening, when it was far too late to do anything about it.

It was actually quite comfortable to wear, and will undergo
a few slight alterations to make it even moreso ...

The Long-Suffering Spouse aka Baron Samedi

The Photo Booth Coffin arriving a mere few hours before the guests themselves.

Those who follow the insomniac  on Instagram
will undoubtedly recognize #middlefingersteve, its creator ...

Behold ~ The Vampyre Tyler
trying out the new Photo Booth Coffin ...

Bugger off, Tyler. It's already spoken for.

L-R: Jessica Dolphin, Rachael, Cory, Meagan

Truly, every aspect of preparing for the event was immensely enjoyable, spoiled only by that one niggling worry, ever-present at the back of the insomniac's  mind - the Dreaded Dinner Speech. “Do I have to do it? Can I not pass this off to someone better qualified?”, she inquired of her event advisor. “Yes, you do.”, she replied. “This event is all about you and your brand. You can do this. Remember, everyone there wants you to succeed. You can't possibly be that bad a public speaker.”

And every day the week prior to the event, the spouse would ask, “Have you written your speech yet?” The response always being, “No. Not yet. I'm sure something will come to me one night when I can't sleep. Or maybe I'll just wing it. I wonder if it would be easier if I pretend it isn't really a speech at all, and merely a normal dinner conversation with 44 of my closest friends? Should I drink? I think I'm funnier after I've had a few. Oh, I don't know. Couldn't you just do it for me?”

At 11:00 pm the night before she sat down to write, making sure to include all the points she'd been instructed to, and none of those she was advised not to. Considering the condensed time frame it was actually a pretty decent speech, ranking right up there with some of her better blog posts.

After everyone was seated, the insomniac  vaguely remembers getting through most of the important information leading up to the first course, but instead of the Tentacled Calamari on a Bed of Wilted Greens, the Skewered Alligator Kabob came out in its stead and things went rapidly downhill. Speech revisions were needed, as the wording depended on the order the food arrived at the table; there was no pen handy in the non-existent pocket of the Artistic Reform Tea Gown to make said revisions; the harpist was playing such hauntingly beautiful music it seemed downright rude to interrupt her; people were laughing and chatting making it difficult to be heard ... it just seemed easiest to give up even trying to finish. Except for that one stellar moment when the insomniac decided to leap up from her chair and shout, “Who here ordered the boar?” and after a few guests hesitantly raised their hands (likely worried some dire consequence was about to befall them from having chosen that particular entrée), then bellowed, “Isn't that the best thing you've ever tasted?”. Possibly not her exact words - she may have tossed an expletive in there, too. The evening was kind of a blur by then.

The attention to detail the guests put into their costumes
nearly brought the insomniac  to tears ... truth.

Therefore, in future should you wish to hire the insomniac  for your next Creepy Event, know that she will take care of every minute detail from start to finish, as long as you understand she prefers to lurk anonymously in the shadows where she is most comfortable, and not dragged kicking and screaming (but mostly whimpering pathetically) into the limelight, where she is not. So you will also need to hire yourself a Qualified Emcee.

The insomniac  has added a Creatures of the Night 2016 photo album to the Insomniac's Attic Facebook Page (one of many important Social Media skills she has gleaned during the past six weeks) and would dearly love guests and staff to forward her any photos of the event so that she might share them with the rest of her darkly-inclined followers around the world.

To all the attendees of the inaugural Creatures of the Night Moonlight Soirée, the insomniac  wishes to express her profound gratitude in helping make this All Hallows' Eve one of the most memorable she's had in a very long time. Happy Hallowe'en, everyone. Blessed be. ❤

IA


I'd like to thank the following people who helped make this event the success it was: Erin Kergen, Event Manager Advisor and Social Media Expert; JJ Ludwig, Owner of the Rockyview Hotel; the Rockyview staff, all of whom went above and beyond that evening - Cory, Krista, Meagan, Rachael, Adele and Andrew; the amazing Psychic Medium Jessica Dolphin - Power of 3; our Haunted Harpist Adrienne Schipperus; the talented stylists at Boogaloo Hair Design; Tyler Kergen, Vampyre and Event Photographer. And finally Chef Cristian, who delighted us all with the most delicious meal, very little of which I was able to consume. Of the few things I actually remember from that evening, the Chardonnay sauce bathing the freshly-speared boar is definitely one of them.

Freshly-Speared Boar, Exotic Toadstool Risotto, Bloody Beets

A Note to the Offspring: When the time comes, please bury your Sainted Mother in her brand new Photo Booth Coffin (since it's a perfect fit and already paid for) wearing her Artistic Reform Tea Gown ... those last two five hook and eyes shouldn't be an issue once rigor mortis has set in. And can't you both just picture the mourners filing past the casket, remarking on its unusual burgundy lining (next project) and her stunning tea gown as they pay their final respects, and you reply, “Yeah, that was mum's thing - she enjoyed making things look creepy. She kinda had a knack for it.”