Friday, August 8, 2014

Horror Con 2014 or Your Money's No Good Here, Mrs. Insomniac ...

Having not done a trade show of any kind for roughly fourteen years now (because THAT statement doesn't make the insomniac  feel as old as dirt), she decided to apply for a couple of local juried markets this past spring and was advised she didn't quite meet the criteria. “Please don't look too closely at the website.”, she pleaded. “I'll only bring items that fit in with the Shabby Vintage vibe you're going for. The stuff on the website is more for those with a darker aesthetic. I promise I won't bring any taxidermy or skulls.” And yet, despite her grovelling and pathetic attempt to fit in, the answer remained an unequivocal NO, thank you!! But please feel free to try again next year. Smiley face.

Then, at the end of April when it was time to have the winter tires removed from her vehicle, the service technician suggested Calgary Horror Con might be a good fit for Insomniac's Attic. And remembering the organizers of the Zombie Survivor Run had suggested the very same thing last year, the insomniac  had an epiphany of sorts ... maybe  she should apply for a spot at Horror Con. The phrase “Not too quick on the uptake” immediately springs to mind ...

And Dan Doherty, CEO and Founder of Horror Con, felt it might be a good fit as well. And so it came to pass - last weekend the insomniac  had the pleasure of being one of the vendors, and also managed to browbeat the youngest into helping by forcing her to book time off from her paying jobs to assist her Sainted Mother with one that didn't. Pay, that is.

Upon arriving at the Clarion Hotel Friday evening to set up, it was a thrill to park one's little wannabe hearse next to five real ones, and was the first indication the insomniac  had been accepted at a venue that was, indeed, right up her alley.

When the HHR finally craps out,
the next vehicle is definitely gonna be a hearse ...

Although by the time that sturdy little HHR dies,
its owner may have also expired ...

After having given up working on the tiny tablet, the website has been sadly neglected for the past three and a half months, and many of the products shown are not available online yet. Only another one (or maybe two) months and the Little Gothic Cottage should be ready, at which time all shall be put in order ... our lives included.

One definitely overestimated how much a 4x8 table actually holds ...

... explaining the number of completely unpacked boxes beneath the table.

At this point, the insomniac  - who was absolutely positive she'd gotten enough acceptable photos and videos to write this post but who really hadn't - would like to thank Lee Kempster of   ilikebadmovies  for graciously allowing her to use some of his. All the Really Good pictures are the property of Lee and do not bear the IA watermark, in case you're having difficulty determining which ones belong to whom. And if you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you probably wouldn't.

The insomniac  arrived at the event bright and early Saturday morning, giddy with excitement and more than a little apprehensive at being around that many people all at once. The youngest straggled in roughly two hours later; rightfully so, as she'd worked until 4:00 a.m.

It was ill-advised to lower one's head for even a second, whether to look for more items to add to the table or check one's iPhone for messages, for fear of being confronted by something horrific when one finally came up for air.

The youngest said these two were from Silent Hill.

Yet another movie the insomniac  wasn't able to watch all the way through ...

He seems blissfully unaware he has not just one but TWO
Vicious Predators looking over his shoulders ...

Eeeep!

 Eeeeeeeeeep!!

There were some really excellent costumes ...

Our table was directly across from Joseph Turkel, Lynn Lowry and Tony Moran. Mr. Turkel was a warm and funny man who spent a great deal of time talking with each individual who approached his table; Ms. Lowry was a soft-spoken woman who kindly came over and introduced herself, as the insomniac  was too shy to approach her; and Mr. Moran kept us entertained all weekend by making amusing faces and going outside for a smoke with the youngest when she got bored.

It was an honour to be seated near these famous actors, and to witness just how much they enjoyed interacting with their fans ...

Tony Moran interacting with fan ...


Lynn Lowry and crazed fans with very bad dental hygiene ...

Joseph Turkel being utterly charming ...

Lloyd Kaufman being frightened by a really scary guy with a mop ...

Because she felt somewhat guilty about dragging the youngest out of bed so early, she purchased an autographed picture and photo for her.


She's pleased with the autograph ...

... perhaps not so much with the photo. Try and guess who took that one.

Down the aisle from us was Gory Props, who kept us on the edge of our seats all weekend. On Saturday with this gentleman, who tirelessly flung himself from his coffin every five minutes:

video

On Sunday with this gentleman, who died a rather energetic death. Over. And over. And. Over.

video

And the insomniac's  personal favourite, the Grim Reaper of Death and Pestilence and Mayhem and Destruction. Although one might have gotten his name slightly wrong as we were never formally introduced - he always being rather preoccupied with either the pretty nurse or the pretty clown.

video

He looks pretty happy for a Grim Reaper of Death and
Pestilence and Mayhem and Destruction, doesn't he?

Over the weekend, the insomniac did manage to sneak in a few purchases of her own. Although there were many things that could have come to live with us in our hotel room, the words of the eldest from just a few weeks' previous kept echoing in her head (Now that you're getting ready to move into your new house, please don't start hoarding again, Mum.) and so she kept them to a minimum.

Still, it's always a good idea to stock up on black t-shirts
whenever an opportunity presents itself ...

Simply because she lives in a world of men with “epic” beards.

And because Mammoth Beard Co.
It's funny.

Who could resist having a copy of this amazing print by
Nat Jones hanging in their new sewing room.

And who, in turn, purchased a cobweb pin and Memento Mori
beer opener from the insomniac's  table ...

Fortunately she never saw this, or the wise words of her eldest
would likely have flown right out of her head ...

There were a few sad moments ... even though it's quite evident Steve's new owner will love him just as much as the insomniac  did, it was a bittersweet sale. Further proof one shouldn't become too attached to one's taxidermy.

Goodbye, Steve!

** sniff sniff **

And because she kept waffling about whether to purchase a picture of  Mr. Turkel as Lloyd the Bartender in The Shining, autographed with “Your money is no good here, Mrs. Insomniac. Orders of the house.” by the time she finally decided to ignore the words of the eldest and add just one more item to her purchases, the show was over and it was too late.

Despite these two tiny regrets, Horror Con 2014 was a perfect weekend, and one is quite sure she never would have heard either of the following statements uttered at any of the Shabby Vintage markets, had she even been accepted:

1. I ADORE taxidermy!
2. This would look FABULOUS in my hearse.

As she was packing up at the end of the show, one of the Gory Props guys asked, “Are you going to Comic Con next month?” And for someone who has a hard time dealing with more than five people at one time, the thought of a convention with close to 100,000 in attendance was almost enough to induce heart failure.

Perhaps the possibility of having a hearse of one's own isn't so far-fetched after all ...

Until next time, the insomniac  wishes you nights of blissful sleep filled with pleasant dreams. Goodnight, my pretties.

IA