Sunday, June 16, 2013

A Night in the Spooky Forest

This weekend was the insomniac's  first overnight stay in her new temporary home - a trailer almost as old as she. Because of its advanced age, the trailer was a really good deal; and for that very reason the insomniac  has misgivings about the propane stove and steps outside while the spouse lights the burner, and has also forbidden the use of the furnace. By the time autumn's cooler temperatures arrive, hopefully we'll have power and can purchase an electric heater, which seems a safer option.

Having been out there almost a dozen times now, one is slightly less apprehensive when walking past the abandoned building on the neighbouring property, and though it looks exactly the sort of place a Horde of Zombies would enjoy hiding out in, has even contemplated taking a quick look in the basement. But probably won't - not only because that would be trespassing, but moreso because everybody knows curiosity killed the cat ...

Some things are better left undiscovered ...

While on the subject of large cats, before heading out to the trailer the insomniac  made a quick detour into town and stopped at the local Fish & Wildlife Office, under the pretense of inquiring about a fishing license for the spouse, but in reality to quell her fears about carnivorous wildlife in the area. Jokingly, she said to the woman behind the counter, “A person probably doesn't really need to worry about bears and cougars, and is probably overreacting as usual, right?” only to be told a cougar had just recently killed a deer in a neighbour's yard. “So, yes.” the woman warned, “It would be wise to always be aware of your surroundings when out walking.”

The insomniac  added Fish & Wildlife's number to her cell phone speed dial list. Which isn't all that helpful really, since there isn't any cell phone reception out there.

Obviously, a few things have already met an untimely end ...

Barely two hours after having been warned, the insomniac  grabbed her camera and went for a walk by herself. Completely oblivious to anything outside the range of her viewfinder, as she was taking pictures of a hollow tree stump and wondering what sort of animals lived in it, she managed to completely miss the deer standing directly in front of her. Who, in turn, was so startled at having a camera pointed in its general direction, took off with a great leap and scared the insomniac  so badly she almost dropped the camera. Way to be aware of your surroundings, insomniac ... you could have been standing right in front of a cougar and never even noticed.

Should the weekly blog posts ever cease abruptly, check the local newspapers and search for an article entitled “Daft City Woman Killed by Cougar while Attempting Artistic Shot of Dead Tree”.  So you'll know what happened.

Something is definitely living in that tree.

Probably not zombies, though ... the holes are too small.

The deer on the right is obviously saying,
“If I cannot see you, then it follows you cannot see me, either ...”

All in all, it was a wonderful twenty-four hours. Prior to the torrential downpour just before bedtime, we even heard a Clutch of Coyotes howling nearby. And despite plummeting temperatures in the trailer, the insomniac  managed to sleep almost the whole night through, only waking up to:  a) wonder if the dead aspen tree beside the trailer would be uprooted during the storm and come crashing through the ceiling;  b) bury her head further into the sleeping bag to prevent the tip of her nose from freezing off; and  c) check out the newly delivered portapotty at 5:00 a.m., despite all her precautions to prevent that very thing from happening. And at 2°C (35.6°F), that plastic toilet seat was cold. Very cold indeed.

It could be worse ...

It could be this ...

Until next time, the insomniac  wishes you nights of blissful sleep filled with pleasant dreams. And hopefully the coyotes will be singing outside your window tonight, too. Because that part was pretty awesome. Goodnight, my pretties.

IA

73 comments:

  1. About the tree. I have two words for you. Zombie squirrels.

    Wow, can't imagine going out to use the porta potty in winter, it's bad enough that the window in my bathroom was made to be permanently open and I get freezing enough in Winter!

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    1. First it's creepy branches scratching at the roof like demon claws on windy nights, and now it's Zombie Squirrels. You're not helping things you know, Laura. ;o)

      Seriously, there had better be at least one functioning bathroom in the house by October at the very latest, even if we can't move in until December. In the event blog posts cease abruptly, it could also be due to the fact the insomniac  has become frozen to the portapotty seat. Cougar attack makes for a much nicer headline, neh?

      And who designs a house with a window that's permanently open, for heaven's sakes! That's ridiculous! Complain to the landlord! :D

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  2. You're right, too small for squirrels... I vote for Zombie Woodpeckers! (They're probably the same ones who ate the door off that second outhouse.)

    Please do keep us updated, and please send pics of the trailer! I hope it looks better than that house!!

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    1. One should probably scrap the name previously chosen for the cottage and just name the whole place Zombieland. And you're probably quite right in deducing Zombie Woodpeckers ate the door off the second outhouse - a thought that never even occurred to the insomniac  until you brought it up. So thanks for that, Lucretia. ;o)

      Despite its many flaws, it is a pretty cute little trailer. But it needs a thorough cleaning before any pictures can be taken. And it does look much better than the abandoned house, since it has no basement where a zombie might hide. Mwahahaha.

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  3. You know the first thing that came to my mind when I see that old tree with many holes? Kodama-- a type of little tree spirit.

    Eh, well, the new porto does beat that old one... but it could be much worse than that even... hehe.

    I simply cannot wait to go on that tour with you, lady Insomniac! What a pleasure it would be to find little bone treasures, too hehe.

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    1. Well, those little Kodama's are kind of cute, aren't they? Although there wasn't much information about them on Wikipedia ... so are they vengeful little beings or relatively harmless? Hopefully the latter. :o)

      It will be awesome spending time touring with you, Madame MM! Be sure to bring a comfortable pair of boots! Perhaps you could slip a bone or two into your suitcase to take back home with you - there's certainly no shortage of them around.:D

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    2. The small explanation of wiki sufficiently covers the story behind them heh.
      They're spirits that tend to live in large old trees, and protect the forest from any harm; should any harm come to the forest, especially the tree in where they dwell, then bad luck will befall the perpetrator of such action.

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    3. Well then, we should be just fine. Having worked as a logger in his younger days, the spouse already believes that trees cry when you chop them down, and has indicated that only dead ones will be removed. But perhaps some small offerings to the Kodama might be in order - just to be on the safe side. ;o)

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  4. Loved your spooky cabin post, Insomniac. I hope you will be more careful when taking pictures of another dead tree ...
    Wishing you a great week ahead!

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    1. Thank you, Hindustanka! The insomniac  has always been rather lost in her own little world for most of her life, so it's doubtful she's going to learn to be more careful at this late stage! That being said, developing a healthy respect for her surroundings might be a wise move on her part, mightn't it? ;o)

      Hoping your week is equally as delightful, Hindustanka!

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  5. Okay, I was laughing all the way through this post! I can see that the construction of this little cottage in the dark woods is going to give rise to many hilarious anecdotes. You might just have a book on your hands if you keep notes of all your shenanigans. Glad you survived your first sleepover in the wild and just remember the golden rule of living in the woods... don't dress like a moose during hunting season! ;D

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    1. Oh, the insomniac  is quite sure there will be many hilarious anecdotes over the next eight months, Little Gothic Horrors - probably at least half of them involving that portapotty! :P

      And as the video points out, there are so many dumb ways to die. Falling into an outhouse pit is probably one of them. LOL

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  6. Hi Lynn! Now because muddle is my middle name lately, I went back and re-read your earlier post about the new home build. It doesn't say The Gothic Mansion is sold, so I was confused as to why you were camping out on the future site of The Gothic Carpathian Rectory and Moonlit Conservatory
    Beyond the Foggy Bog and Past the Wicked Wood Overlooking the Misty Creek.

    Yes, I copied and pasted that mouthful. And as for carving that across a tree ..... the initials wouldn't fit across a Redwood. Can't you just call it something simple like, oh I dunno.... Dave?

    I'm wandering again. Sorry. I'm distracted by the fact that the freezer I ordered (the old one didn't survive the move. It bit the biscuit after 12 years faithful service. R.I.P. Becko Upright), is being delivered today (supposedly) by an outfit who's rep guarantees I might see the damn thing by Labour Day.

    Again I digress. So why are you camping out on the site of the future home I shall call Dave, in a trailer that you think will either freeze you to death or blow you both to the Moon. I couldn't help but notice the Johnny on the Spot is in better nick than your trailer. I'm not suggesting you have your priorities wrong, but .....

    I shall keep a weather eye on the Missing 411 sites in the event either your "temporary" dwelling, the zombie shack, the assorted wildlife (zombified or otherwise), or Bigfoot cause you to drop off the radar.

    And thanks for visiting my new blog site. Blogger has messed me about for the last time.

    Ali

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    1. While reading your first paragraph, the insomniac  thought to herself, “She MUST have copied and pasted that. NOBODY could remember that mouthful!” In future, please feel free to refer to the Little Gothic Cottage as Dave, until such time as we come up with something better - and shorter. ;o)

      A new freezer - again, one of those things that aren't terribly exciting to purchase, but necessary. Hopefully you'll have it by at least Thanksgiving so you can have a turkey! Although maybe Thanksgiving is not a big deal in Britain?

      And you are correct in that the Gothic Mansion has not yet sold and, according to the realtor, might take some time because it's not the sort of house that appeals to just anyone. So we are dividing our time between here and there. Mostly the insomniac  is here (cleaning) and the spouse is out at the trailer (relaxing). Oh wait, that's not right - he's actually doing useful things like bucking wood, whatever that means. In any case, you do know who's getting the short end of the stick here, don't you? ;o)

      And it's going to be a long six or seven or eight months in that little trailer, Ali, so spending time here cleaning is a small price to pay for the luxury of running water, electricity, heat, indoor plumbing and, most importantly, the internet.

      As for your new blog site, acountrybug is now the one that should be followed, and one should disregard Rosewood and A Rosewood Post? It's all so confusing for one who is so easily confused! LOL

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    2. Ah so...I get it. You haven't moved into the death trap, I mean, trailer. You go between the country house and the town house. See in this country, if you put it that way it sounds well swish and people will be in awe of you. That or think your one of the Hooray Henry crowd and sneer at you. Its fun coming from a classless society like Canada and watching how that sort of nonsense still hangs around here like a bad smell. See? I've wandered again.....

      Bucking wood means cutting it up. I Googled it and Google never lies to me. Unlike the bastard delivery company.

      And yes, go to Country in the City aka A Country Bug. Sorry for the platform hop. I don't have the patience for idiocy I used have.

      Ali

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    3. You only have to take one look at the insomniac  in her Dogpound Creek Dinner Jacket (the blue plaid one) to realize she isn't remotely swish! She did, by the way, have to Google Hooray Henry, and though she definitely doesn't fall into the upper class category, she could possibly be considered a loud-mouth and probably also a fool. Two out of three. ;o)

      The youngest and myself have started giving the spouse a hard time about his use of the phrase “bucking wood”. Why don't you just say cutting it up, we both said. It's less pretentious.

      Damn that delivery company ... did it finally arrive?

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  7. If you've got cougar and coyotes, I hope you don't have any outside pets. :(

    A cold port-a-potty seat is still better than squatting over a hole in the ground... But just barely.

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    1. No pets yet, Pixel Pixie. The realtor did mention that cats don't last very long out there. But the insomniac  is such a marshmallow that if we do get another large dog, it will be an inside dog. One realizes that country people often have outside pets, but one has always felt as though their past canines were more like members of the family and has always preferred having them inside the house where it's safe. :o)

      Oh, and you are definitely right about that. There's something a bit more reassuring about squatting over a plastic tank, no matter how cold, than squatting over a large pit in the ground that you can't see the bottom of and are quite sure is harboring some sort of zombie-like creature. Or some disgustingly large spider. ;o)

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  8. Oooooo, what a gorgeous forest! You're so lucky it found you ;)

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    1. We are very lucky, Michelle. And we say that over and over and over, every single time we go out there. :D

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  9. You crazy woman! :) What an adventure you both have embarked on. But don't worry too much about cougars and bears. They don't usually see humans as prey. Just don't leave anything edible outside the trailer at night, or you will have returning quests...

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    1. There is so much to learn about living in the country, Ms. Misantropia ... things you never even think of when you're a city dweller. And, of course, after supper last night, the insomniac  managed to forget a practically full bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken inside the trailer, so that will necessitate a trip out there again today to retrieve it. Because we've all seen pictures on the damned internet where bears have demolished a vehicle trying to get at the food, and that trailer is really old... ;o)

      While at Fish & Wildlife, the insomniac  did gather up quite a few pamphlets on how to avoid having bears as guests. Surprisingly, absolutely no pamphlets on cougars. So it's nice to know they don't usually consider humans good eating! Although they might reconsider if they happen to run across a rather daft and plump older woman with bad knees who can't run very fast. :D

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    2. We have 2 different types of deer, hares, pheasants and rats in our garden daily. On a couple occasions I've spotted foxes, one time a wolverine. Although they are rare down here I also saw a moose once, just a mile from our house.
      But the dude that comes out every time we forget to put the trash in the can at the end of the drive way - who spreads plastic and leftovers all over our patio and drive way - is Kalle, the hedgehog living in the wood pile :)

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    3. OMG, rats! Isn't there some kind of law that only cute animals are allowed in a person's garden? Like adorable little hedgehogs? Whom you obviously like because you've named it, despite the mess it makes on your patio and driveway ... ;o)

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  10. Hmm...An electric heater in the trailer? Are you sure that such a heater will be sufficient through your cold winter months? My experience with electric heaters has taught me that they're only good for heating very small spaces. And considering how cold it gets up your way... I would opt for a wood stove. Now there's an adequate heating device!

    As for cougars and bears, whatever you do, make sure that you don't leave any food nearby your living space. Not to make you paranoid, but bears have been known to attempt coming inside people's living spaces if they can smell food. At least that's what our black bears do--and you have grizzlies where you live! You might want to have a hunting rifle, just to be on the safe side. I'm not suggesting that you go killing cougars and bears but you'll need to be able to protect yourself in case of a chance encounter. And if the zombies from that neighboring building come after you...well, won't they have a surprise!

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    1. It's a very small trailer, Nightwind! Although 26 feet sounds quite large when you say it quickly, one person will always have to be seated while the other one is walking down the hallway - if you can even call it a hallway. As for the cottage - well, that will have the biggest fireplace we can find, plus a couple of stoves for backup! :D

      Oh shoot, now one is really feeling the need to drive right back out there this instant, and grab that leftover bucket of KFC she forgot in the trailer last night. Pffft.

      More than one person has suggested we invest in a rifle. But firearms really scare the insomniac , and she's so - oh, what's the word we're looking for here - oh yeah, daft - she's scared to have one around in case she accidentally shoots the spouse! So he has an axe handle to protect himself and she has a Louisville Slugger instead. Do you think that's adequate protection against a Horde of Zombies, Nightwind? ;o)

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    2. There is a gun perfect for women for home defense. Its called the Judge. It takes a shotgun shell so you do not have to be a good shot or practice at all just aim in the general direction and pull the trigger.

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    3. That sounds like something worth looking into, Rhonda. Probably less frightening for the neighbours if she has a Judge tucked into her jacket pocket when she's walking down the road for the mail than a hunting rifle strapped to her back. Although having never walked down to the post box before, maybe everyone  has a rifle strapped to their backs - or maybe they just drive there. ;o)

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  11. I was once harassed by a black bear because I accidently left a tin cup out that had some hot chocolate residue in it. My husband and I had just hiked 30 miles on the Pacific Crest Trail and had come out onto a dirt road and were camped at a conventional campsite. We were exhausted and about to fall asleep when we heard the cup clattering off the picnic table. It was a very long night. The bear kept coming back---we kept screaming at it. Until dawn, when it ran off towards the lake.

    Not to make you nervous or anything :)

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    1. A bit of hot chocolate residue was enough to attract a bear? They must have a very good sense of smell - even better than one had already imagined in her head! And you were awfully brave to be yelling at it, especially if you were in a tent!

      Oh no, Tilda. Not nervous in the slightest ... ;o)

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  12. Ugh, I dont like things that can blow up either, lol. That would just be the luck of someone who is affraid of it to happen.

    If there were zombies out there, I think you would have known by now. :D
    I always feel safer with my dogs in the woods, than just me alone, but then taking photographs can be a bit hard, hehe.
    And that looks like a nice toilet, really! :) As you said, it could be much worse...

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    1. The insomniac  is actually getting a gas stove in the new cottage - isn't that ridiculous? Especially for someone with such a fear of things that go boom!

      You're probably right, Sandra - the zombies would have made themselves known by now, just like the aliens in your dad's basement probably would have, too. LOL

      A dog is sounding like a good idea ... but we'll have to wait until we're out of the trailer, because there really isn't enough room for three of us! And it is a nice toilet - so much better than a hole in the ground! :o)

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  13. Wow! Sounds like a few new things to get used to. I hope you're an outdoors kinda gal! Yeah, cougars and bears are nothing to mess around with, so I'm glad you only met up with a deer. :) That's cool that you got out and had some adventures to share with us! I'm sure you'll get a bunch of blog material from your new environment!

    By the way, I noticed that we both had those funky characters showing up instead of an apostrophe in our usernames. I finally figured out how to get rid of them! So here's a little gift for you:

    How to Avoid Apostrophe Meta Problems in Post Title on Blogger

    Read more: How to Avoid Apostrophe Meta Problems in Post Title on Blogger | eHow http://www.ehow.com/how_12056322_avoid-apostrophe-meta-problems-post-title-blogger.html#ixzz2WWVRqDjg


    There's a code on this page that you can put in place of the apostrophe in your name. You can do that on your Blogger User Profile. Worked for me!

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    1. Being in the forest is bringing back a lot of memories of when the insomniac  was a small child and her parents took her camping in the mountains. It's going to be wonderful living there once the cottage gets built; it's just the interim of living in the trailer that's a teensy bit worrisome. And she'll definitely have to stop wandering around lost in her own little world like she generally does, because startling a deer is one thing ... Startling a bear - that's a whole different matter. :O

      And thanks for the tip on the apostrophe, Justine! Tried to figure out how to fix that ages ago and eventually gave up - so here goes! :D

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    2. LOOK - IT WORKED! You're a genius!! :D

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  14. I am so happy for you! Did you sell your home?

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    1. Thanks and not yet, Rhonda! But the longer it takes to sell, the less time the insomniac  will actually have to live in that little trailer before the cottage is ready. ;o)

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  15. Seems like you are havin quite an adventure. :D I love the humourous way you write, so be on the lookout for wildlife, it would be awful not to be able to read these posts of yours!

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    1. In the city, the only thing you have to worry about is being run over by a bus while you have your earbuds in and aren't paying attention! Oh, and maybe being mugged. LOL

      And don't worry, Jade - the handbook from Fish & Wildlife entitled “How to Survive a Bear/Cougar Encounter” has been read numerous times over the past week, so even should such an event occur the insomniac  is fully prepared. Most important in either event - DO NOT RUN! Which really goes against every natural instinct, doesn't it? :P

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  16. I'm always a little worried about bears and wild boars when I'm out in the woods! Especially if I'm alone. :P I dont really think my boyfriend COULD save me from an angry bear but I feel safer with him anyway, haha.

    I understand your feeling that you wanted to avoid having to go up to the potty, when I'm on LARP, I'm always afraid I'll wake up early, having to pee out in the cold! :'D

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    1. Oh no - wild boars, Lesthi? One has heard that those are VERY nasty creatures! It might actually be preferable to run across a bear than a boar! They do say traveling in pairs is much safer than alone, so just having your boyfriend with you is probably good insurance whether he could save you or not! ;o)

      You probably don't even have the luxury of a portapotty at LARP, do you? Ewwwww. It definitely pays to adhere to the unwritten rule of nothing to drink after 8:00 p.m. Especially not tea - that's the worst! :D

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    2. There are a lot of wild boars in the swedish forest. Actually 4 of them ruined a magical moment for a couple of people in the last larp, they had to run away before the boars noticed them.

      Yes that's true. Most animals in the woods are probably scared of all the sounds from talking at least ^^

      Actually we have those portapottys on larp :) A lot of them. But since we are so many people there and those humans seem to miss the hole sometimes O.o..and on the last one someone had smeared poo all over 2 of the portapottys that were closest to our camp.
      So to be honest i prefer a hole in the ground on larp! It feels cleaner and no smell at all :'D

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    3. Ruined a Magical Moment? That's almost funny, Lesthi - unless you happened to be the couple ... :D

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    4. Haha! I agree, it is a funny story to tell since nobody got hurt :D I wasn't there though.

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  17. Oooh, that looks both spooky and exciting! We have a patch of woodland we spend time in and I'm terrified of beasties while I'm there and I'm in the UK so the most I have to worry about is a fox probably!

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    1. You've hit the nail on the head, Retro Chick! What is it about an old abandoned building that urges us to take a look inside, even though we know it's the DUMBEST IDEA EVER! Well, there wouldn't be any horror movies if we all didn't have that same urge, would there ... don't go in the basement, you fool! Don't you know what could be down there!! LOL

      Foxes can be scary too, especially if it snuck up behind you! ;D

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  18. Oh my, lol! you never fail to leave me laughing Insomniac... you blog is just awesome, although admittedly I haven't checked in for a while until just now. I'm glad to see you and the spouse have found a plot of land and have plans for a gorgeous home, looks wonderful! I look forward to seeing how it all progresses over the coming months. I know you will do an amazing job with it all.

    Isn't it just such an adventure strolling about in the Canadian country side, never knowing what you might come across? lol... I live in B.C., and know well that feeling of "ummm, we should really be getting back home" when you see droppings the size of well, you know, just really really big droppings that no dog would be capable of producing, I hope... ahem. Anyways, good luck with all the upcoming work. In the meantime, I think you could really work wonders decorating that porta potty, yes? a coat of dark plum or black paint at the very least, and maybe a lovely crescent moon, that'd do the trick ;)

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    1. Thank you, blackhrtgurl! It's good to know it keeps you laughing. And we did have a nice plot of land - it remains to be seen whether it will still be there next week or whether it will be washed away with all this flooding! LOL

      You live in B.C. - you're so lucky!! That's one of the insomniac's  favourite places! At one point, we even thought of retiring around Kaslo. And yes, the really big droppings - they are scary. :O

      If the portapotty actually belonged to us there would definitely be some improvements in its future. However, one suspects that Mr. P. Potty might not be as thrilled with a dark plum exterior and crescent moon as much as the insomniac would be! But that's a really good suggestion!

      As for The Crappy Little Trailer in the Spooky Forest - that's a whole different story. That project should keep someone busy for the rest of the summer attempting to make it look a little less crappy. :D

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    2. holy moly, I just watched the news and I cannot believe the flooding you guys are getting there! I had heard there was some flooding recently, but had no idea it was getting so bad... seeing downtown Calgary covered in water and all the surrounding areas, just awful... I certainly do hope you still have your plot, and hope you guys are keeping safe and sound. take care!

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    3. It's really something, isn't it? Hopefully the worst of the flooding is over now but as for the damage - can't even begin to imagine how bad that's going to end up being. We're very fortunate that the Gothic Mansion weathered the storm just fine. As for the plot, there's really nothing of value there yet - except for the portapotty. Hopefully, Mr. P. Potty has flood insurance. ;o)

      Seriously though, thank you for your concern, blackhrtgurl. ♥

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  19. WOW! So many nature... that would be to much for me...

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    1. It's definitely a Love/Fear relationship, Madame Kismet. Mostly Fear. ;o)

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  20. Thanks for the sage comment. And, my, what an interesting blog you have here! Just be careful around those cougars.

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    1. Might have to change that headline to “Daft City Woman Wearing Newest Paris Rage Killed by Cougar while Attempting Artistic Shot of Dead Tree” with the subheading “Her Dying Words - Does This Poubelle Make me Look Fat? ”

      You bet she'll be careful, Shybiker - from now on. ;o)

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  21. Bears and cougars aren't that bad. As long as you don't have delicious food smells lingering around, the bears will probably leave you alone. They make "bear-proof" trash bins, probably a good investment. Cougars sort of have an internal "food equation-" "alone + dawn/dusk + quadruped = edible." As long as you stay upright, with a group, and diurnal, you're probably okay. Cougars are generally shy and retiring creatures. They see you and make damn sure you don't see them. I will say this, though- cougars cache their kills, so if you see a dead deer, stay the hell away from it. Especially if it's covered in leaves. I used to tromp around in cougar habitat all day long, with a horde of bite-sized kids behind me, and never heard a peep from the resident cougars. Of course, we never tromped alone.... or at sunset.....

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    1. The insomniac  KNEW you would know all about these things, Tante F.! Currently, anything tantalizing smelling is put into garbage bags and stored in the back of a vehicle until it can be hauled away, preferably within a day. It is slightly worrisome that we are doing all our cooking on a campstove outside the trailer (because of the sketchy stove inside), but the insomniac  is washing the dishes immediately, so hopefully that helps.

      Good info to know about the cougars, though. It might be wise to change the time of day one walks down to the post box to midday instead of 7:00 p.m. There was a lot of info in the “How to Survive a Bear/Cougar Encounter” booklet about bears - less so about cougar. However, they did show a cache covered in grass and leaves, so one will definitely stay away from anything that looks remotely like one! The spouse did say they were very shy creatures and that we'd be “lucky” to ever see one (our definitions of lucky differ greatly). But then he promptly followed that with a story of when he was stalked by one when living in the mountains of B.C., so it wasn't all that reassuring in the end. :P

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  22. Hilarious post, Insomniac. i love that you end it by wishing us a blissful night's sleep. Like I'm going to be able to sleep now after reading about zombies and cougar attacks and random bones that look suspiciously human...

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    1. Oh, great! Again, never even occurred to the insomniac  they might have been HUMAN bones. She thought they were just a big damn deer. Or a moose. But not HUMAN, Marie... Sheesh.

      And just so you know the insomniac  hasn't been purposely ignoring you lately, when she signed up for a Google+ account, it was immediately suspended because it violates Google's “names policy”. Apparently, Insomniac's Attic doesn't sound like a real name. Who knew there was such a policy? So until that little mess is all cleared up, she can't comment on any of your posts. And there have been so many things she has been just itching to comment on lately, too - today's post about Eric's trampy little sister, yesterday's post to politely question what the hell you might have been thinking going that close to the edge (Pig Face was smart to run away!), the post on Paula Deen - so many snarky things to say and no way to say them. Sigh...

      How long do you suppose it might take Google to get this resolved? Years maybe? :o(

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  23. Brrrrr that is one chilly trip to the potty! You are one tough insomniac! What a great story teller you are. Cougar attacks are quite rare - only six deaths in California's recorded history, so that includes the gold miners.
    I often ride my mountain bike alone at dusk in an area frequented by mountain lions. I used to sometimes get the creeps but after thinking about the very low rate of attacks, I decided not to let it bother me. But I do have a little bike bell I ring every now and then to let the lions know I'm coming in hopes that they will scamper away. We have a little cabin in the woods and when leave, we leave the radio on in hopes that the bears will think we are home and not break in to get our food. I love being in nature and all the adventures!
    Looking forward to reading about your further adventures! And trailer pictures. I love trailers :-)

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    1. LOL, let's see how tough the insomniac  is in December when it's -20°C. Bet she'll be whimpering like a little baby then, lightning x! ;o)

      And only six deaths by cougar? Including the gold miners? Yes, she should likely cross that off the list of things to worry about ... Falling down the portapotty hole moves up to Number One! :D

      The insomniac  did actually purchase a little bell and some bear spray for when she's out walking, but obviously she forgets those at the trailer. Every. Single. Time.

      And she promises to take some trailer pictures for you, lightning x. It's so cute. **cough** But she has plans for the Crappy Little Trailer in the Spooky Forest ... BIG PLANS!! The spouse is worried. ;o)

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    2. Hahaha! I bought pepper spray for urban walking adventures and it's never left my car. I do like to make a little noise when I'm in the woods alone or with the young offspring at dusk.... a little whistling or humming.
      Damn -20° be brrrrrrrrr chilly for outdoor peeing. I had to outhouse pee in -10° once. Just once. And I still remember it 25 years later. My pee hit the deck frozen. Maybe a solar heated seat warmer?

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    3. One is REALLY hoping there will be at least one functioning toilet in the house by October. And surely that would be a priority for the builder and all his crew, too - wouldn't it?

      LOL, although frozen pee might be interesting to see - just once, mind. ;o)

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  24. Looks creepy and wild = is totally awesome ^^ btw, I love wild animals - greetings for the deers ;)

    P.S: I have just tagged You on my blog :)

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    1. LOL - creepy and wild does equal totally awesome, doesn't it, Salieria? The insomniac  shall certainly give the deer your greetings!

      Oh my, that's a complicated one - it might take a while to come up with answers to all those questions! :D

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  25. Having to go on a portapotty, with those kinds of temperatures is awful! If it were me, I'd probably start considering peeing into a plastic bottle, or something like that x'D Or digging a latrine (because then, at least you can't get stuck, frozen onto a toilet seat) :')

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    1. The insomniac  did see something at the camping store called You Go Girl which was kind of like peeing into a small plastic bottle. But one assumes you'd need to have good aim, and then you'd have to empty it afterwards, and then clean it out ... so in the long run, it would seem the portapotty is the lesser of two evils! :D

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    2. There are these funnel things for ladies to pee into www.freshette.com/
      I think I prefer to dash outside and pee in the woods real quick, then run back inside my warm bed with my long suffering spouse.

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    3. Might as well make him suffer the indignities of a cold backside, too. Right, lightning x? ;O

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  26. Thanks for your kind comment today. I appreciate it.

    I've been accused of being overly-sensitive my whole life and, like you, I don't agree that being this way is wrong. I don't know how people can be less sensitive than I am and that's not how I'd want to be. I just need to learn how to deal with the harshness of life as I am.

    We're roughly the same age! I'm 55.

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    1. The insomniac  is rather shy about commenting on important topics such as yours today, Shybiker. As a firm believer in Thumper's rule “If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all.”, she's always apprehensive that even though her comments on serious matters are always meant to be positive, somehow she'll manage to phrase them poorly and they'll be misinterpreted. Thankfully, today's comment seems to have come across in the way in which it was meant! :o)

      Ah yes, how does a sensitive person deal with life's harsh realities without becoming disillusioned and insensitive themselves? Currently a subject the youngest daughter and her mother have been discussing lately. And not an easy question to answer ...

      LOL, you're MUCH younger than the insomniac !! :D

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    2. Good grief, cougars? I'd probably be the same if they ever reintroduce wolves to the Scottish Highlands, to be fair, and wolves tend to be terrified of people before dark.

      Anyway, this is just a quick comment to say that I tagged you in a blogging meme over on my blog, if you fancy participating. :)

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    3. Whatever happened to the wolves, An Honest Drug? Did they just die out naturally? One tends to think of wolves and coyotes as just large dogs, and they don't seem to hold the same sort of terror for the insomniac  as bears and cougars. Foolishly so, probably. ;o)

      Thank you for the tag, BTW - although as she mentioned to Salieria above, that's a complicated one with many questions! It might take forever to finish! ;o)

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    4. What happened to all the wolves in the Scottish Highlands, An Honest Drug? Were they all hunted to extinction way back in the 1700's or something? The insomniac  always thinks of wolves and coyotes as just great big dogs, therefore they don't terrify her as much as cougars and bears. Foolishly so, probably!

      Thank you for the tag, BTW! Although as she mentioned to Salieria above, that's an awful lots of thought that would need to go into that post. It might take her forever to write! ;o)

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