Friday, June 26, 2015

Calgary Horror Con, Part V

The youngest was kind enough to help her mother at Horror Con on Saturday, although her help would have been preferable on Friday when one was single-handedly attempting to lift large bins and clothing racks out of the truck. It most assuredly would have made the discussion of possible table layouts with staff much easier, as one likely wouldn't have been panting as heavily or muttering repeatedly, “I will not have a myocardial infarction at this time.” 

Note to Self ... next year start an exercise regime a few days prior to better prepare for all that vigorous lifting and such. Ha. Hahahahaha.

The Youngest

And isn't that a lovely dress she's wearing? Only two years in the making.

Although the insomniac  took hundreds of photos (or maybe it was only twenty) surprisingly few turned out - possibly due to the quantity of caffeinated beverages consumed during the event and which may have given the camera operator a case of the shakes.

Exactly like last year, the insomniac  was completely ill-at-ease around all the illustrious celebrity guests and couldn't quite bring herself to go over and introduce herself, which would have been the polite thing to do. From past experience, it's pretty much a given her foot will end up in her mouth - perfectly illustrating the old adage “You can dress her up, but you can't take her anywhere.” Although most days you can't even dress her up.

So she waited instead for the celebrities to come to her. On the first day, Dee Wallace came over and said, “I really like your stuff.” Okay, maybe she didn't say she really  liked it. But she definitely said she liked it. Although she might have said really  liked ... it was five days ago! Who can remember?

That carpet is delightful, is it not?

And on the second day, Heather Langenkamp came over and bought a few things. And then came back, bought a few more things and chatted for a good while - which was beyond amazing. Although the insomniac  has absolutely no recollection of what she said to Ms. Lagenkamp she would like to offer up her apologies at this time, as in all likelihood she probably blurted out something completely inappropriate.

A quick shot of some of the items on display ...

 ... in case you see something you like and the insomniac  doesn't
get around to putting them on the website any time soon.

Also pretty much a given.

Now there's something you don't see every day ...

In the past two years she's been fortunate enough to be a vendor at Horror Con, the one thing the insomniac  has noticed about all the attendees is how happy they are to be there.

So many smiling faces ...

She's smiling, right?

On the Saturday, as the insomniac  took a break from her booth for a quick tour around the convention (possibly scoping out potential purchases at other vendor tables but possibly not doing that at all), she walked past the girl on the left and abruptly did a one-eighty. 

Insomniac:  Oh my goodness, that looks painful! Is it?
Smiling Girl:  No, not really.
Insomniac:  Is it hard to talk with that on? It looks like it's hard to talk.
Smiling Girl:  No, not really.
Insomniac:  Still, it really looks like it hurts. It doesn't really hurt, does it?
Smiling Girl:  No, not really.

In all honesty, Smiling Girl was very sweet and kindly explained exactly how the special makeup was done. But she wasn't there again on Sunday; probably nervous the insomniac  would seek her out just to make absolutely certain it didn't really hurt.

The fellow on the right was wearing a very unusual costume. The insomniac  has completely given up trying to guess costume identities, and now just asks to save everyone time. 

Insomniac:  So what are you?
Costumed Guy:  I'm a wolf. (Or maybe he was becoming a wolf. Should have taken notes).
Insomniac:  Are you having a good time at Horror Con?
Costumed Guy:  Oh yes! I came down from Edmonton but I couldn't bring all my costume because it's pretty big and I was worried it might get ruined on the bus and I just got this great picture of a wolf from another vendor who gave it to me for $2 because she knows I'm becoming a wolf and that's what I want to be and I also just got a new picture from Wal-mart of a moon and this picture will look great hanging on the wall with that one and I'M  ABSOLUTELY  HAVING  THE  BEST  TIME  EVER ...

And then he stopped talking, looked straight into the insomniac's  eyes and said, “Because I'm crazy. And so are you. Everybody here is crazy.” Totally nailed it, Wolf Guy. That's the real reason we all enjoy Horror Con so much ... because we're all mad here.

The Taxidermy Crows were a popular item this year, all three going to new homes with other vendors, which was fortunate as the insomniac  wasn't obligated to pull out her six-page Taxidermy Ownership Application Form while asking for a minimum of three references, as she's quite particular about who takes her little pets home. And should you think she's joking, rest assured that even though it may appear as though she's just sitting there casually making pleasant chit-chat and passing the time of day, in reality she's actually sizing you up and deciding whether you'd make a suitable parent for one of her taxidermy pieces or not.

This crow was already sold, but he'll get the next one.

A new batch is on order and actually will
make it onto the website once they arrive.

This lovely couple met all the insomniac's  criteria for
Good Taxidermy Parents, don't you agree?

They adopted Steve III, the Wolpertinger ...

Steve the Third's Adoption Papers

L-R: Jace of Beneath the Bridge, Jace's new crow
and Amanda of Gargoyles and Goodies 

Jace bought a crow last year and is hoping one day for an attempted murder.
Her joke, not the insomniac's.
That's why it's funny.

The sister-in-law, who is over from Israel, was talked into helping on Sunday. You may remember  the last time she was here, the insomniac  dragged her to Zombie Survivor. She can always expect a good time whenever she comes for a visit.

You can totally tell that's exactly what she's thinking ...

Tom Atkins REALLY liked the dressmaker's dummy.

Next year, we'll dress her up in something REALLY special, just for fun.

If that doesn't give you nightmares, nothing will ...

... although once her special effects makeup was finished, she just might.

Keeping to one's firm resolve of not purchasing any unnecessary items to add to one's already sizable hoard, the insomniac  only bought two things - a replacement bottle of Mammoth Beard Oil for a friend whose bottle from last year had run out, and a book from author Robert Tozer. She hadn't planned on getting the book considering its cover, because who in their right mind would pick up THAT in the middle of the night when they can't sleep? But Robert's wife said, “You should buy a book.” And the insomniac  said, “Okay.”

So much for firm resolve.

 Blrgh. That cover.

Much better.

The Merchant of Mammoth Beard Oil

Made from preserved mammoths.
No. That's probably wrong.

Recommended by two out of three epic beards.

The blurriness of this picture attributable not to
an excess of caffeine this time, but too many "country-size" Caesars
at the Water Valley Saloon that evening ...

Although tongue-tied around celebrity actors, one feels somewhat less so around celebrity artists, and asked Nat Jones whether she might have her picture taken with him - thanking him afterwards and calling him Nate. You know, it's really quite embarrassing being the insomniac  sometimes ...

Oh come on.

You didn't actually believe you'd get to see
an un-Photoshopped picture, did you?

After her photo op - and since she was already there - she decided on just one additional purchase of a new Kitty with Skull poster to go with last year's, plus two more for a giveaway. She thought it would be a nice gesture to have some personally autographed, so she came up with a few random names and had an additional four signed for people or cats named Emma and Phoebe or Yvonne and Cobweb and Nala.

Should you or your cat's name not match any of the above, please feel free to comment on this post for your chance to win one of five generically autographed posters, the remainder of which were donated by Nate Nat himself. And because the poor guy only has 8,595 likes on his Facebook Page, a rather dismal number in comparison to the Insomniac's Attic Facebook Page with its astounding 272, you should probably give his page a like as a gesture of thanks for his lovely act of generosity.

In the insomniac's  humble opinion, Nat spends far too much time drawing
icky zombies and should seriously consider doing a nice poster of a bat
or an attractive male vampire for next year's Horror Con.

Comments will be assigned a number in the order in which they are received, and winners chosen using the Random Integer Generator at and announced as an addendum to the bottom of this post on Saturday, July 4th.

No, wait. The insomniac  has a previous engagement involving the disembowelment of chickens on the 4th. Let's close the contest at midnight Friday, July 3rd instead. Anybody out there interested in seeing pictures of her disemboweling a chicken in the next blog post? It should be humorous.

Until next time, the insomniac  wishes you nights of blissful sleep filled with pleasant dreams. Goodnight, my pretties.


5:33 p.m. Saturday, July 4th, 2015

Thanks to everyone who commented and entered! Commenters were assigned a number in the order in which their comment was received; comments from Winter Moon and Little Gothic Horrors being eliminated as they and their fur babies are the recipients of the personalized posters.  

Please email the insomniac  at with your mailing address. Next trip into the city is Wednesday, July 8th; posters will be mailed out to the winners then.

Winner Number 1 - Variations on Light
Here are your random numbers:
Timestamp: 2015-07-04 23:31:54 UTC

Winner Number 2 - Creepy Glowbugg
Here are your random numbers:
Timestamp: 2015-07-04 23:33:33 UTC

Winner Number 3 - linnea-maria
Here are your random numbers:
Timestamp: 2015-07-04 23:33:53 UTC

Winner Number 4 - Anonymous (thank goodness there was only one of you!)
Here are your random numbers:
Timestamp: 2015-07-04 23:34:12 UTC

Winner Number 5 - The Wild Fairy
Here are your random numbers:
Timestamp: 2015-07-04 23:34:30 UTC