Friday, September 16, 2016

Creatures of the Night Moonlight Soirée, or an Evening with the Insomniac

You know how the insomniac  is always whining about how boring Hallowe'en has become since we moved out to the Spooky Forest? How the first year we had only one child brave enough to come Trick or Treat at the Little Gothic Cottage; the second year not much of an improvement over the first, with a mere three showing up on our doorstep. How it all seemed so pointless to literally spend weeks decorating the cottage, only to pack it all away the following day after a disappointing turnout on All Hallows' Eve. And let's not even talk about all the leftover candy one is then forced to consume over the next month due to such a dismal Lack of Attendance.

A mere ten days ago, while enjoying a glass of wine with a friend and bemoaning the fact that Hallowe'en has been a bit of a disappointment lately, the idea came about of creating a special event at a local establishment to remedy that situation. Et voilà - before she could give any serious thought as to what she was getting herself into - the Creatures of the Night Moonlight Soirée was born.

Soirée - an evening party or gathering,
typically in a private house, for conversation or music.

Occasionally held in a Spooky Forest. But not in October.

Although the Rockyview Hotel isn't the insomniac's  private house, it does feel rather like her home away from home, having spent a substantial amount of time there since March of this year helping redecorate the hotel during its makeover. It is - without a doubt - the perfect venue. After all, where else could one expect to find such eerie ambiance than a reportedly haunted turn-of-the-century hotel? As an added bonus, one does not have the responsibility of tidying up the place beforehand, although it seems unlikely she'll be unable to delegate cleanup duties to anyone other than herself afterwards. Shame. That would have really made it perfect. 

Now although designing posters, assisting the chef with menu selections, determining what goes into the Sepulchral Souvenir Sacks, decorating the hotel and all those other enjoyable tasks that are part and parcel of such an event are right up the insomniac's  alley, longtime readers of this blog know certain social situations strike absolute terror into her little black heart. How she'll manage to get through having to emcee that evening without collapsing on the floor in a blithering heap remains a mystery, although one does suspect alcohol might be the solution. The trick will be to consume just enough and no more, to avoid collapsing on the floor in a blithering heap.

Without further ado, a tantalizing taste of what to expect on October 29th, as outlined in the following Official Event Brief. Obviously the insomniac  has had professional help with this soirée - would you ever expect the words “Event Brief” to escape her lips otherwise? Notations in parentheses are the insomniac's  own and will not appear in the Official Press Release.


Exhume your finest moldering crypt wear - that hasn't seen the light of day since whatever century it was you perished in - and surrender to the darkness alongside your fellow Creatures of the Night at this inaugural event.

Indulge in a unique Southern Gothic feast not for the faint of heart. Let our eerie themed cocktails trickle down your throat, hastening your descent into a shadowy underworld of temptation, sensory exploration and your inevitable submission to the dark.

Our moonlight soirée is as exclusive as it is unusual, with limited seating in the newly renovated historic (and haunted) Rockyview Hotel, downtown Cochrane. Be not afraid … this event is perfect for singles or couples, as we shall dine in authentic banquet style. So cozy up to the pale temptress on your left while rubbing elbows with the aristocratic fiend on your right, as we twist your taste buds with truly delicious, yet alarming, delicacies.

Cryptkeeper Cocktail Hour: 8:00-9:00 PM

Signature Cocktails:    Kiss of Death Martini, Eternal Sleep Sangria, Rogue Dead Guy Ale 

Appetizer:    Bloody Stake Tartare on Crostini

Our resident Psychic to the Underworld will be walking amongst the crowd, giving a brief reading to any who might be interested.

Shop and explore the Insomniac’s Attic pop-up boutique  … a distinctive collection of dark Gothic decor; for lovers of antiques, natural history, taxidermy, and admirers of Baroque, Victorian and Art Nouveau.

(Exclusively for this evening, the insomniac  plans on digging deep within the bowels of her basement, unearthing items that have never before seen the light of day. She cannot say exactly what those items might be at this time, as she has not yet gone down into the bowels of her basement and started digging.)

The Fiendish Feast: 9:00-10:00 PM

First Course:

Tentacled Calamari on a Bed of Wilted Greens

Second Course:

Skewered Alligator Kabob

Third Course:
Choice of Freshly-Speared Boar or Bludgeoned Game Hen
Bloody Beets
Exotic Toadstool Risotto

Fourth Course:
Choice of Dark Chocolate Square with Severed Lady’s Finger Garnish or
Pears Poached in the Blood of Virgins and Stuffed with Figs

(Although one thinks  the chef said figs, he does have a slight accent. He may have said frogs.)

Throughout the feast, guests will be serenaded by the haunting melodies of harpist Adrienne Schipperus (during those rare moments she isn't being interrupted by the insomniac gleefully describing each menu item in gruesome detail to her dinner companions).

Monster Mash 10:00-11:00 PM

Feel free to shop and peruse Insomniac’s Attic, as well as explore the hotel and inspect the saloon in the adjacent room.

Creatures of the Night 11:00 PM – 2:00 AM

Your only fear is to make it back to the mausoleum before dawn, as you crash the festive bash at the Texas Gate Saloon right next door. Live DJ, costume party and plenty of Halloween Despair. (Isn't that a delightful turn of phrase? Hallowe'en Despair. Absolutely brilliant - obviously not the insomniac's  contribution.)

If the above lineup isn't your idea of the most perfect night out imaginable, perhaps you should refrain from purchasing a ticket and spend your All Hallows' Eve weekend firmly planted in front of the television in the safety of your home. As for the rest of us - the insomniac  is so looking forward to meeting you all, delighting in this opportunity to spend an evening surrounded by her fellow Creatures of the Night.

All except the part where she has to emcee ... she's really not looking forward to that part. Not in the slightest. 

Until next time, the insomniac  wishes you nights of blissful sleep filled with pleasant dreams. Goodnight, my pretties.