Tuesday, January 21, 2020

Gryphons are our New Spirit Animal ...

Having decided on a topic for our first post after a lengthy blogging lapse, we settled down to the task of sorting through the 609 photos of our Czech trip last spring, which ended up consuming far more time than recovering a footstool would have - our other topic of choice. Obviously, we scrapped that idea like yesterday's garbage, to be revisited at some later date when we've more energy for sorting. Clearing out the basement (another potential topic) is currently exhausting all of our sorting energy at the moment. 

Yesterday - instead of trying to come up with something else to write about - was spent on eBay (as one is inclined to do when procrastinating hard) searching for things we're pretty sure need to come live with us in the Little Gothic Cottage. It being so barren-looking in here and all.

We are currently fixated on accumulating antique wool blankets. In theory, so we can finally recover that chaise in the sunroom everyone avoids like the plague when they come to visit, due to the very large piece of unpadded wood that runs down the centre and makes sitting on it beyond ...

... and this is apparently a thing, these days. One just says “beyond” and leaves the sentence hanging, instead of finishing it properly by saying “beyond uncomfortable” or whatever. We may have been watching a YouTube video of Paris Hilton teaching us how to cook lasagna (while simultaneously searching for antique wool blankets) when we discovered this disturbing trend. A video which was more than a little disturbing itself, and emphasizes just how bored we must have been to even have watched it in the first place.

A little ashamed about those precious minutes of wasted life that can never be recovered, actually. And as a special favour, we won't link that video so you don't have to suffer the same regrets we are now experiencing.

Two of the antique blankets scored over the holidays ...

... and the third, which looks so content on the floor of
the guest bedroom, it's staying there.

Unless we have actual guests.
Then it'll be stored under the bed so nobody can walk on it.

But this was to have been a post about Gryphons and Spirit Animals, not recovering a chaise. And how (once we realized there were no appealing antique wool blankets to be had on eBay and we were totes beyond with that video) we started searching for antique gryphons instead.

This familiar search started us questioning why we've always been obsessed with gryphons, having spent many decades on various online auction sites searching for a glimpse of these mythical creatures. Perhaps they're a Spirit Guide - a thought we promptly dismissed as ridiculous since Spirit Guides cannot be mythical creatures. Or so we thought. But - just to be sure of our facts - we Googled it and apparently were quite wrong. As we tend to be about so many things.

We suggest using the more archaic spelling of Gryphon, as the search “Griffin as your Spirit Animal” will likely bring up Peter Griffin in the results. And Griffon - more often than not - will produce the dog breed which, although less objectionable than the former, is still not quite what we're personally envisioning for our guide, which we'd prefer look more like these majestic beasts:

A protective and vigilant Spirit Guide.
Master of Astral Workings and
Guardian of the Soul and Life Essence.

Or so we've been told. By Google.

And less so like these specimens, currently available online:

This is not a Gryphon.

If memory serves, this would be a Cockatrice and
most definitely not our Spirit Animal.

These are also not Gryphons.

They do, however, appear to be Dr. Seuss'
Thing One and Thing Two ...

This is an actual Gryphon,
which - we believe - has been depicted here rearing back
in horror while exclaiming about the previous specimens:

“These are not my people! These are not my tribe!”

Further Google research on Gryphons as Guides (about three minutes' worth), uncovered an assortment of questionable information, the most obscure being this sequence of mystical words, which we are firmly convinced is an arcane and long-forgotten incantation, originally written centuries ago to entice one's guides into making a deep and meaningful connection with us:

“Griffin spirit animal meaning. Aveeno baby eczema. Honey stick vape pen ... Deniz balkan portal. Spirit meaning animal. Fallout new vegas.

After submitting an appeal for some Divine Assistance in our quest to further our knowledge of the spiritual mysteries, we found ourselves being gently steered in the direction of the following rituals. Rituals primarily centered around the accumulation of the many things we will need to acquire on eBay in order to properly honour our new Spirit Guide. Can you imagine our delight upon reading these words of esoteric wisdom?

  • THOU SHOULDST PURCHASE candles, incense, cones, oils, sprays, etc. scented with the scent, herb or foliage thy Guide is associated with.

  • THOU SHOULDST ALSO PURCHASE statuary, paintings, prints, textiles, etc. with the color, animal or foliage associated with thy Entity, and keep them in thine home where thy Entity canst see them.

  • Wonderful treats THOU WOULDST LIKELY NEED TO PURCHASE for thy Gryphon include money, coins, gemstones and precious metals.

We think you likely can. And if our intensive Google research suggests one must build a shrine to honour one's Spirit Guide, well then. Who are we to argue with such unknowable knowledge? Therefore, objects must be collected. Shrines must be built.

And please! Do share what objects you  feel compelled to collect, in the hope it might help us  feel slightly less guilty about our purchases, as the new Gryphon Shrine objet d'art start to make their appearance here in the cottage ... beginning almost immediately upon arrival of the Canada Pension Cheque in one's bank account on the 24th of this month, and continuing until the money either runs out or the spouse puts a stop to it. Whichever comes first.

Until next time, the insomniac  wishes you nights of blissful sleep filled with pleasant dreams. Goodnight, my pretties.

IA

31 comments:

  1. How I've missed your delightful prose style! Good luck in your wool blanket and gryphon collectibles hunting! You may be interested to know that all the sports teams at MacEwan University here in Edmonton are called "The Griffins."

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    1. I've never really considered my style as worthy of being called delightful, but hey! I'll take that!!! πŸ–€ I think you likely already suspect I've had good luck in my blanket and gryphon hunting - the packages just haven't arrived yet. lol

      I did NOT know that about all the teams being called “The Griffins”! That makes it easy to remember, hey? I wonder if I can work that knowledge into the conversation somehow and impress the spouse. ;)

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  2. Dear Insomniac: Thank you for this timely reminder to purchase The Things when I'm Crete for my Greek pantheon worship.

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    1. OH MY, YES! You absolutely have my blessing to buy ALL THE THINGS! Crete pretty much demands that sort of sacrifice, amirite? lol πŸ–€

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  3. I obsessively search for all things bees and frogs, for deeply personal reasons. I am drawn to them in ways that I can't really explain, and have been since I was a teeny, tiny kid. I've been sketching hive structures for a few weeks and have been plotting my eventual honey bee hive ... well, when I eventually buy a house somewhere.

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    1. I've met a few people who collect bees! I mean, they are pretty adorable, as are frogs ... perhaps they are your Spirit Animals. Mine's not really a gryphon - or maybe it really is, and I'm just too obtuse to have figured it out!

      Wouldn't it be wonderful to have a hive of your own someday. πŸ–€

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  4. I wish to offer my deep gratitude to your Gryphon Spirit Animal. It has obviously guided you well, and that's the only reason why you chose not to make us suffer through Paris Hilton's pasta ventures. Also, the blankets are precious. Such delicious colors and patterns!

    On the subject of the hoarding, I mean acquiring indispensable items that allow me to breathe easier: I collect dictionaries and books of oddities. I can't resist them. I've tried... and resistance is always futile.

    Hm... I wonder if chanting the Aveeno baby eczema. Honey stick vape pen... spell might help me control my most-get-my-and-on-every-dictionary-in-the-universe urges.

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    1. Your comment made me laugh wayyyy too hard! Thank you.

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    2. My Gryphon Guide is telling me that spell is pretty much an all-purpose fix for anything needing fixing. But do you really want to? I mean, hoarding Dictionaries and Books of Oddities doesn't seem like an urge that really warrants fixing! IMHO. ;) πŸ–€

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    3. You are much too wise not to be correct, so... urges, you won't be spelled away!

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  5. oh dear, thank you for NOT linking anything connected with paris hilton, etc. *shivers*

    i am greatly given to mutterings under the breath when perusing ebay, etsy, or pinterest, generally mutterings of outrage such as "that is NOT a gryphon (griffin, et al)!" or "it's renaissance, not medieval, dammit!" or "dear heavens, can people not tell the difference between X and Y thing-i-am-looking-at-today?" and the answer, apparently, is NO, they cannot tell a difference, or are utterly unaware that one exists. honestly, the percentage of mislabeled things online is inestimably huge. this irritates and frustrates me way more than it should...

    those blankets are exquisite. just stunning. we wants them, my precious. we needs them. sadly some evil entity has hoovered away all our moneys, precious. oh wait, that was me. oops.

    i am compelled to search out and collect so shamefully many things...over the years i have acquired such random things as antique kanzashi (japanese hair ornaments), vintage kimono, solje brooches, 70s enamel unicorn jewellery, china articles depicting geisha, matryoshka and kokeshi dolls, images of black madonnas, tribal necklaces, witchy engraved spoons, embroidered linens (rushnyks), kyo-ware tea-bowls, various china patterns/types, victorian etiquette books, vintage clothing from the 1900s to 1920s, old french cafe-au-lait bowls, and goddess knows what else. if i had real funds at my disposal, it would be a lot worse.

    the trouble is that when you are by nature an inveterate collector, the acquisition of one thing inevitably means others will join it. it's as if the single item is lonely---it needs a mate, friends, a community of like things. i picked up, madly cheaply, a small chinese porcelain figure of a laughing child that i thought rather delightful. but ONE chinese child cannot be---she must have friends or siblings! two more came to join her in very short order, at prices slightly less madly cheap. ahem. then they were joined by a much larger figure who really was a terrific bargain, whom i think adorable and my husband thinks...well...insane? hideous, i believe was his term. very unkind. she will likely need a friend to overcome the insult... also the chinese children seem to require a new tablecloth or runner and possibly some famille rose style china to feel more at home in the dining room where they live.

    so i completely understand the necessity of rituals that honour and augment any tutelary deities that have found their way to your home...and there is no question that one's spirit animal may be a mythical one. mine is either a unicorn (heraldic or medieval tapestry style, please---no cutesy rainbowy puffy-looking modern ones) or else an inari fox, depending on mood perhaps. your gryphon shrine MUST have proper furnishings---gryphons are notoriously particular creatures. whilst i am looking out for giant chinese children figurines to annoy my husband...i mean, to accompany my singleton girlie...i will keep an eye out for irresistible gryphon finds for you!

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    1. I was equal parts horrified and fascinated by that video. All I can say without descending into complete nastiness is “WOW”.

      Wrongly labeled and misspelled items are the only way I seem to get any good deals on eBay anymore! Of course shipping charges are putting a real dent in my collecting, but some say that's a good thing. Because it does have a tendency to snowball, doesn't it? And if we didn't have such restrictions as exorbitant shipping charges and zero funds, who knows where it would all lead? I think I have a pretty good idea though. ;)

      P.S. Thank you so much for the word tutelary! I had to look it up ... what an excellent word!!! πŸ–€ πŸ–€ πŸ–€

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  6. I am salivating over those blankets! I have one in my possession that is the color of deep burnished gold with red roses. I found it crumpled in a corner of an attic in a junk shop. Yours are absolutely gorgeous. As to collecting, outside of certain kinds of dollies (ha), I also collect angels. Do stop laughing. These are not just any angels. They have to look a bit tortured or have faces that I think evoke deep thoughts (but others might interpret as gaseous). I look forward to seeing pictures of the lovely Gryphons that you find. And thank you from the bottom of my heart for not posting "that video". There is currently an eye bleach shortage in my area.

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    1. Aren't they beautiful? I seriously did get very lucky over the Xmas holidays when everyone was too busy with holiday prep to be paying any attention to what they were missing on eBay. Yours sounds gorgeous - I'm a sucker for old textiles with roses.

      I picture your angels as the kind that are fond of smoting. Definitely not the cherubic kind. lol

      All my favourite things (bats, owls, gryphons, skulls) are so mainstream now that prices are out of my reach for the most part. However, I think that if it's meant to find me, it will. And it will find me while conveniently staying within my budget.

      Are you SURE you don't want to find that video? Go on. You know you wanna. ;)

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  7. Hahahaha, Paris Hilton hahahahah! cooking! hahahahahahah. Okay, I'm okay.

    Gryphons Yes! You need one on top of the toWER! Two either side of main door and the Welsh flag Gryphon in a warm wool blanket!
    Your Enchanted forest spirt animals will love the company!
    I never understood EBay , reminded me of a casino, gambling, slight of hand. You have mastered eBay beautifully, those blankets & rug are exquisite, braveheart!
    What do I collect? Hmmmmmmm, other than husbands? .........hmmmmmm? My Gemini spirit changes , but the common characteristic seems to be shiny! Oh! Books of historical fiction with Magic! Oddity ! Strong female adventures!

    So get the cement mixer & casts of appropriate Gryphons , bleed into each one! The new alarm system is done!
    Huge hugs! xo

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    1. It. Was. Something. Else. lol

      For a lot of years, eBay was my addiction. I'm not quite so bad anymore, but I still go through spurts where I get sucked down that rabbit hole. Luckily, CPP isn't all that much, but when I get OAS next year - then look out!

      Collecting husbands! Bwahahahah! Shiny things with no expectations and books that don't talk back seem like a much better choice though, Debi. ;)

      And isn't that odd that you talk of making cement gryphons - I was Googling how to do just that today! And the addition of blood sounds a wonderful idea!! The possibilities are so exciting!!! πŸ–€πŸ–€πŸ–€

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  8. Lovelovelove the blankets. Absolutely love them. My jealousy has raised its ugly head about them. Good for you! says I while inwardly ranting that they aren't mine.

    My spirit animal seems to be spiders. Brown recluse spiders have bitten me 3 times in my life. I often wonder if they're trying to tell me something...

    Regardless...currently I seem to collect fabric for my sewing area with the same ease as breathing. Before that I collected Moroccan bric-a-brac for my 3 season porch. And before that it was medieval items for my bedroom. Yes, every room in my house has a different theme. Living room = American Indian. Kitchen = Tuscan. Attic = Gothic. Bathroom is...ok, this room doesn't count - it has (shudder) pink tiles on the walls and I haven't yet taken them down (hey, at least the sink, tub and toilet aren't pink! That should count for something.) Doesn't matter, it's the hunt and the acquisition (see the Ferengi rules of acquisition) that make it all worthwhile.

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    1. Thank you so much! I'm a little sad you feel jealous, but not so sad I'm going to send them to you. lol

      Oh, dear! I know spiders as Guides are quite a good thing, however being bitten not once but three times definitely does NOT sound like fun! Aren't Brown Recluse even more poisonous than Black Widows? Ugh. I'm just not a huge fan of spiders in real life, even though I know should be.

      Oh, yes! Fabric. And trims. Beads. Lace. I swear if my youngest doesn't learn to sew soon, I'm going to be drowning in all the stuff I've collected here pretty quick.

      Your house sounds absolutely wonderful! Except maybe the pink tiles ... perhaps you could stencil little black spiders in webs on them or something. Camouflage that pink a bit. lol

      You got it! It's the thrill of the hunt that keeps me collecting, and luckily I still do an occasional market so I can sell off at least half of the things I find. I really shouldn't keep it all to myself. ;) πŸ–€

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  9. This inspired me to take an online quiz to determine my own spirit animal. I fear I may never go out in my garden again: my spirit animal is a snake- "The snake animal meaning is powerfully connected to life force and primal energy. In many cultures, it is revered as a powerful totem representing the source of life.When the snake spirit animal appears in your life, it likely means that healing opportunities, change, important transitions, and increased energy are manifesting."

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    1. My Native American spirit animal according to my birth date is also a snake! “People born under this Zodiac sign have a habit of hiding their feelings and not trusting easily. More positively they have keen insight and rich imaginations.” Fitting, I think ... especially the part about a rich imagination. lol

      You should Google spirit animals for your birthday and see what you get! πŸ–€

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  10. Ha - I understand the kind of mania an all out ebay search can produce. I have had a few of these in the past. They included all things art noveau, toys from my childhood, and most recently smoking men for christmas decorations. Hopefully, some real treasures will come your way at least until the pension check runs out.

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    1. Thank the gods I have limited funds or we'd be back to drowning in stuff again! I love art nouveau - most of which I can't afford. Again, a blessing in disguise. Smoking men? For Xmas decorations? I'm quite intrigued, Lady M! lol πŸ–€

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  11. There's something kind of wild and incredible about going deep, deep down online search rabbit holes - especially those driven by enjoyment, not serious necessity (i.e., medical related topics). I've had my fair share of such delightful Google benders of the years, though far less so in recent years.

    I plan to go on a few (research, not - for better or worse - shopping) again soon though - but do wonder, if they're planned and not sporadic, are they quite as heady and all consuming?

    Either way, it should be fun and ultimately, isn't that what counts?

    Have a gorgeous weekend, my sweet friend!
    ♥ Autumn

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    1. There is! I try not to ever Google my medical symptoms though, as that's a rabbit hole I'd rather not go down. Far too frightening, compared to shopping. I especially love it when I'm learning about a dozen new things that I never knew before, as I veer off in unexpected directions every time I run across another link! lol

      You have a wonderful weekend too, Autumn! πŸ–€

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  12. Very colorful blankets, and I like the Gryphon candle holder.

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    1. Thank you, Nightwind! I like the candle holder myself, but it's not coming here to live, sadly. Far too expensive. ;) πŸ–€

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  13. I miss your Blog Posts and Love your Blanket Scores!

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    1. Thank you and thank you! Obviously 'Ive only been able to produce one post and now the urge has dried up again. lol

      Hope you are all keeping well these days! πŸ–€

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  14. I'm a few months late for your lovely post but in an late attempt to be helpful place your griffins in their time zone or in its old hunting grounds when searching. Try either 'Medieval Griffin' or one of it's heritage lands either Persian/Greek/Egyptian Griffin' placed in the search bar should be the magical phrase to release the animal you're searching for. During the Persian Empire, the griffin was seen as a protector from evil and slander.
    Gargoyles are where my own medieval fondness lies, those protective creatures that can move like grease lightening when nobody is watching.

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